Priming

During the holidays, I heard lots of "mini speeches." Last week my father-in-law offered a toast at the dinner table. Yesterday a friend talked about appreciating our time together. Both were beautiful little tributes: kind and heartfelt. The next time you want to say a few words but are holding back, consider a technique called “priming.”

Joe Maggie, a professor at NY University, uses priming to help people under stress. Before doing a nerve-racking activity (like public speaking!), he encourages people to remember a moment when they felt powerful & confident. And to that I'd add this: reflect on a time when you felt good about yourself. Perhaps it was after you volunteered at a food pantry or made chicken soup for a sick neighbor. Maybe it was how you felt after a long run or doing yoga.

By reflecting on a moment when you were your best self, you'll reduce your anxiety about speaking in public. It’s not a magic bullet. It won't quell all your nerves or shake free the stress of everyday life. But it will help you feel more relaxed and confident. Adding a few deep breaths is important as well. Give it a try. When you’re moved by the spirit, “prime the pump” first then share your thoughts aloud. My guess is that your friends and family will appreciate what you have to say.